You are looking...................

You are looking, but what are you seeing..?
 I today...saw first hand..
what it is, what it feel like, to be looked on...but not been seen.
Here we go...

You look at me, and I wonder, what do you see?
Do you see my Kurta...my bindi...and what do you assume..?
Do you see me, dressed in my western clothes and assume what..? That I am more like you then?
Does this make you feel better..secure...?
Or what if I were to dress again in a different way..yet  again...
I wonder..
What would you see.?
Would you see the sensitive person that I am?
Would you look at me and see How very easy to get hurt kind of woman that Iam?
Or peraphs you may see how loving I am when I know I can trust you.
No, Maybe you could see the hurt that has been in my heart  ...if you would look, you would see.
And would you see how this very hurt has made me a much more sensitive person now, able to relate to people and feel for them, making me want to really do something for every person I see struggling,
Because I have been there myself first;
Look...and you could see,
It's me;
unique, caring, loving, able to stand up to things,to wrongs, smart, much more then you would know...
But you see...
the problem is...the problem is, that you are not looking....
and if you are looking, you are not seeing..
because all you can see when you look at me..
is what..?
My clothes...my very goodlooking self in a kurta..?
And what..you would think I am so far different from you.
But I am not.
Except on one thing....one thing I am different from you..
When I look, I look to see,
to see who you really are.
Apart from your looks, race, color, religion, clothes, nation...
When I look..
I want to look and see what I am looking at.
Who you truly are.
All your true colors.
Thats the only way for me.

The day I had to leave you

And the day after what seemed a beautiful dream...the day came, for me to go....
I remember,  it was so sad for me, it was.
Walking around, trying to seem normal and fine, when inside I felt like I was falling apart..like the ground was slipping away from beneath my feet.
My tears I couldn't stop but it seemed even the heavens started to cry....
Then the rainbow at the end of the clouds...maybe this is how it will be....at the end of this sad madness that now I live..maybe.. at the end of the storm there will be a rainbow and we will forget soon all bout the storm and rain.

Maybe soon, we will once be together again.

Eros Ramazzotti - Liberta liberta

just me

This is me..
What can I say....
even though I did not get a conventional backround, art has always bein part of my life...as a mean of expressing myself, trough thick and thin..good and bad....happy or sad..I could always run to it and pour my heart out..
I look around..and I see beauty, everywhere...so much beauty...
I see it in a child smile, in a tree standing strong and bare in a middle of the winter..., I see it in your smile, in my smile, knowing all the work that has gone in it..and all that there is
behind...
In see it in a window....I see beauty in a reflection...
Beauty is all around us..
I believe this..with all I have..with all my soul.

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”
This is so beautiful, and true....in days like today especially, I need to remember this....
That I am strong and very courageous.

What is art..?

I read this today:
"All the creative work in the world- whether painting, dance, drama, music, anything- has all come from that unknown corner.
It just spontaneously started happening. You do it, but you are not the doer."
When I write as well as when I paint..it does just start flowing....when I walk and I see something that strike me...i may be something so common for everyone else, but I see it in a different light...I feel it....and I have to paint it....or have to write about it.
So many times it has and still does happen to me.
I was told once that to see beauty...in common things, all around us, it is a gift.
Indeed, I now understand it, I do see beauty all around me.
Sometimes I feel like a kid...a little kid, in a candy store; I have to stop whatever else I'm doing and ...just...observe..take it all in....put it in my " memory folder".
This is a gift.
And I'm so grateful for this; to be able to see so much beauty.

soulmate

I like to believe that a soulmate is someone that you have a deep connection with on every level. It can be between a male to male, male to female or female to female. No barriers to age, sex, gender, race or relations. BUT, personally to me, I believe that there is such a soul-mate for all human-beings. A significant other that when together is in Totality. Wholesome. Indestructible. Ying and Yang. One soul-mate for each of us. It is with someone who you are deeply connected with; spiritually, mentally and physically. An important elemental triad. There is no doubts in your ‘being’ together as one or when you are separated momentarily as individuals. You both know in that instance you are the “other half”. I think in that present moment of ‘knowing’ and bonding you realise you both have found each other. Am I right or wrong, I wouldn’t be certain.. all I know is that you will know. And ONLY YOU will know.